I love to ride my bicycle, I love to ride my bike...

My bike and I, it seems, have had a falling out. I don't know what I've done - maybe I didn't keep her tyres pumped up enough, or perhaps never got around to repainting those scratches - but I tell you what: she's waging war against me!

Offensive #1: Whilst trying to lock up the bike outside work I managed to drop my bike lock down my leg. I am now sporting a lovely round hole where a piece of my shin used to be.

Offensive #2: I was walking the bike when I pushed my leg right into the pedal. Cue nasty rash down side of other leg.

Offensive #3: Rushing to pack my basket this morning I sliced open my finger along the cuticle line on the basket hinges. OW OW OW! Am turning into Band Aid lady.

Offensive #4: When riding the bike home I notice an ominous clanging noise. Stop and check chain, pannier racks etc - all seems to be in order. Get back on bike, begin pedalling and hear nothing but clank clank clank. This surely can mean only one thing - the bike needs a service. Now my legs, finger and wallet are all hurting.

At times like this I find it pays to repeat the following mantra until one feels better: Toned thighs and bum. Toned thighs and bum. Toned thighs and bum...