Thursday, August 31, 2006

Countdown #5

Finally, the big 100 is here! Whilst I've enjoyed doing this, it's been getting harder and harder to think of interesting facts about myself. If today's effort is a little on the shoddy and desperately-scraping-the-bottom-of-the-barrel side, then please excuse me.

Seatbelts on? Let's go!

20 - I lovelovelove getting dressed up. I'd always rather be overdressed and look fabulous than look blobby like everybody else.
19 - You will never ever catch me wearing trakkie daks. Those days are over, my friends! (Unless I go for a run, and it's kinda cold, but that's different)
18 - Having said that, I don't mind if other people do. Go for comfort, kids.
17 - I'm currently having French lessons, even though there is no immediate plan to travel to a French-speaking country. Just something to do, really.
16 - I was a really stupid kid. Good at school, but stupid at common sense things. For example, my brother was a runner, and had the special running shoes with the spikes on the bottom. Once he was cleaning them, and I was sitting beside him, and for a joke he told me to place my hand on the table. Idiot me did it, and he slammed the shoe down on my hand then had to peel it out, spike by spike. I was bawling "Whaddja do that for?" and he answered in shock "Why didn't you move your hand, like everybody else does?" Like I said - stupid.
15 - I don't cope very well if I don't get a full, uninterrupted 8 hours of sleep. Particulary when I don't get it for a few days in a row. I was fine when Grumbles was a babe, and needed feeding every few hours, but that was because I was acclimatised to it. Now those days are gone, I'm back to being a psycho grumpybum.
14 - Every month I sit down and figure out a monthly menu plan, so we know what we're having for dinner each night. Then we go to the supermarket, buy all the grocery items we need for the month, and stock up on dairy and fruit 'n' veg as we need it. Nerdy, but damn the system works! No more wondering what we're eating each evening - just look at the list on the fridge and say "Oh! Salmon on braised chickpeas!" Mind you, this is usually followed by an expletive and "I've forgotten to soak the chickpeas", but never mind that.
13 - In the past I've sported the shaved head look. It really didn't do me any favours.
12 - Now half my hair is short, and the other side is long. It's quite a look!
11 - I'm thisclose to becoming a vegetarian, but I can't bring myself to give up sausages and salami. Pathetic, isn't it?
10 - I don't shave my legs nearly as much as I could. I know it's time to do it when squirrels stop by and ask if they can live in the leg hair forest.
9 - I love riding my bike. It's such a good feeling, when the day is fine, and there's no wind, and you're going fast enough to feel ever so slightly rebellious, but not so fast that you can't stop in time, and guys in cars look over approvingly thinking to themselves "Whooooa, hot chick on bike at three o'clock" (okay, maybe I'm just imagining the last bit) and then you stop and buy an icy pole, and plonk down in a park to eat it, and at the end of the evening you happily say "What a fabulous day!"
8 - Speaking of icy poles, my favourites are those 50 cent lemonade flavour numbers, and I am extra happy if they have been sitting in the freezer all winter and have ice crusties on them. Yum!
7 - I'm always thrilled to pieces when somebody asks me "Did you make that?", and I can squeak back "Yes! Yes, I did!", but then about 8 seconds later my world falls to bits because I think that they only asked because it looks so crappy and handmade.
6 - I can recite Jabberwocky. (Did you hear that noise? It's the barrel.)
5 - I like learning the history of sayings. For example, mind your ps and qs is from the days of old, when bar tenders would yell out to their rowdy customers to mind their pints and quarts, otherwise they'd be taken from them. Apparently.
4 - I'm a very slow swimmer. So, if you're going to start drowning and need to be saved, please don't do it when we go swimming together. I'll never get there in time!
3 - Those questions, where you get asked "Which four people would you most like to have over for dinner"? I can never think of an answer for it, because I am convinced that anybody getting the invite would respond with "Oh, Jorth? Good gad, she'd bore me to tears! Put in the bin now, there's a good chap, and we'll just pretend we never received it"
2 - My mother named me after a character in a very well known movie musical. Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to have every second person burst into song when they are introduced to you? (I'll save you the trouble of wondering - it's damnably annoying)
1 - I have nothing more to say. For the moment. But at three in the morning I'm sure I shall think of the plethora of more interesting facts that I should have put down.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Countdown #4

Rightio, here we are, back again. Some commenters were clamouring for 1000 things about me. All I can say is this: Are you guys crazy? I'm really not that interesting. Forty to go, and I'm scratching my head and procrastinating as hard as my procrastinating muscles will allow me, which isn't very much, as by nature they are laaaaazy.

Enough, eh? Diving in:

40 - I'm bad at team sports. I get too grumpy when things go wrong. Grumpy soon turns to aggression. Last time I played in a netball team, I was sent off the court for kung-fu kicking the ball out of somebody's hands (hey, she was a nasty!). The moral of this ditty is don't ask me to play in your team.
39 - I'm always tickled pink when somebody refers to a vehicle as a job. As in, "Did you see that speedy little job just fly by?"
38 - I am a big fan of stationary. To me, the smell of a freshly shaved pencil is akin to the bouquet of rare flowers.
37 - I prefer tea to coffee. Irish breakfast is the current favourite.
36 - I came this close to swapping my biotechnology degree for a degree in applied physics, but my chemistry lecturer talked me out of it (the fact that I was failing chem probably had something to do with it).
35 - I went on to fail chemistry again. Only organic - I passed physical and inorganic. Close, but no free radical.
34 - I do not like the music of Andrew Lloyd Webber. Sorry, dude.
33 - I do like the music of Hot Hot Heat. Check 'em out, they rawk!
32 - I once chase Tim Rogers down a street in Perth, and wrung his hand and told him how much he rawked. With a bemused air, he thanked me, and meandered on his way, whilst I spent the next hour shaking like a leaf and cursing my inepititude.
31 - I bought a trumpet on the weekend - how exciting! Now all I have to do is learn to read music, and I'll be a trumpety goddess!
30 - My favorite movie is White Christmas, followed by Gosford Park. Although when I was about 13, I read in that venerable upholder of journalistic integrity, The Herald-Sun, that Bing Crosby was a cross-dresser, which put me off him and the movie a bit.
29 - I'd just like to say that I never read the Herald-Sun anymore. However, when I was 13 I didn't get much say about which tabloidish crap was brought into our house.
28 - The Guardian, however, will always be welcome at my breakfast table. Which is just as well, as it's my homepage, and the brekkie table is usually neglected in favour of the computer desk, as it's the only time of the day I get to peacefully scan the blogs. Just in case any of you were wondering why I always seem to leave my comments at 7:04am.
27 - I like to walk. A lot. Which is good, because my feet are my main form of transport. This isn't to say that I was overly thrilled when the Galumph suggested that we do a bushwalk for our honeymoon.
26 - Still, we did it. Four days around Wilson's Promontory, with a week in a cottage in Yarram. I heard Paris was overrated, ya know?
25 - Whenever we told any of the locals in Yarram that we were honeymooning there, they looked at us in utter disbelief before laughing. However, one of them did ask me how long I'd been in Australia for, so I wouldn't take too much notice of what they say.
24 - I still have no idea which country she thought I was from.
23 - I cannot make a pavlova to save myself. I thought my chest was flat, but the pavs take the cake (heavens to Betsy, out come the baking metaphors). So, I just smother my failures (pavs, you dirty sods) in cream and fruit and call them 'meringue flans'.
22 - I am really looking forward to owning a home with a vegie patch and fruit trees out the back.
21 - As a child my favourite food was cold stew sandwhiches. Oh dear.

Friday, August 25, 2006

Countdown #3

Here we go, here we go, here we go again...
60 - I am a very good touch typist. You know in movies when they make the typing go across the screen in the suspenseful high-tech computer scenes? I could totally be the typist doing the typing, I'm THAT good.
59 - Although, just between you and me, I have a sneaking suspicion that I would crack under the pressure. Whenever I'm playing pool, I always get the 'eight ball jitters'. No matter how brilliantly I've sunk the ball in the ol' pockets before, I always take about 10 shots to pot the black. Thus usually allowing my mediocre opponent to win (what, you think I'd play against good players? I'm THERE TO WIN!)
58 - As a teenager, my rather athletic brother thought I'd make a good runner. He was right - I was pretty speedy, light and had a fair bit of stamina. He started making me do training sessions, which went well, until he devised a way to make me go really fast: he tied a rope around my waist, and then tied the rope to a tyre and then made me run up the Mahoney's hill with it bouncing behind me. The Mahoney's hill was practically a 90 degree angle. The theory behind this was that without the tyre I would be Speedy Gonzarlas.
57 - It ended up being more like not-so-Speedy-with-rope-marks-around-tummy-arlas. Do you people have any idea how hard it is to run up a hill with a car tyre attached to you? BLOODY HARD.
56 - I was also rather scared that, whilst staggering along with the tyre, the Mahoney's bull would come along and chase me. Or even Mr Mahoney himself. Let me tell you, this didn't add to the joy of the training sessions.
55 - In my mind, the smell of summer is Jasmine. That's all there is to it. Jasssssmine.
54 - I learnt fairly early on that Santa Claus didn't exist, but I played along for years for the sake of my sister, who is four years younger than me. I have a feeling that my parents thought I was rather daft and slow to clue on.
53 - And that reminds me, my favourite smell is Christmas tree. I can't stop myself - even if I'm at somebody's house, if they have a Christmas tree, you'll find me with my nose nestled right in, oblivious to the dangers of needles and ornaments poking out me eyes. I have to be forcibly dragged away from the damn thing.
52 - I love playing Trivial Pursuit. Love it, love it, love it.
51 - For some very obscure reason, 7:11 is my favourite time of the day. I know, seriously weird, who else has a favourite time of the day? Except maybe the Queen Mum, for whom 5 o'clock meant cocktails. AM or FM, doesn't make any different to me. 7:11 is where it's at.
50 - I like anecdotes about old time movies stars. Particulary the one about Marilyn Monroe meeting Arthur Miller's mother for the first time. They'd gone around for lunch, and Marilyn had to use the toilet, but didn't want anybody to hear her wee, so she ran the tap the whole time she was in bathroom. A few days later, Arthur rings up his mum, and says "So, what did you think of Marilyn?" His mother answered, "Oh, Arthur, she's lovely. A beautiful girl, really beautiful. But just between you and me, she pisses like a horse!"
49 - As children, my brothers and I would play frisbee with dried cow pats. Occaisonally you'd pick up one that wasn't quite so dry. No fun. (Bad joke: What do you get if you sleep under a cow? A pat on the head!)
48 - I have quite a few grey hairs. They can stay. I know they're going to win in the end, so why even bother opening up a pack of hair dye? Besides, they make me look distinguished, which is good, because nothing else does.
47 - I love clothes. Unusual ones. Not unusual as in whacky, more like well thought out design. I don't follow fashiony trends, just go for pieces that I love and will wear for years and years to come.
46 - I would never wear anything that wouldn't suit me, just because it was in fashion. I'll leave fashion for the younguns, and create my own distinctive look.
45 - I believe any outfit looks better with lashings of eye shadow and mascara.
44 - I had 24 hour morning sickness. It was horrid. I threw up everywhere. Even cleaning my teeth would make me hurl. On my first day back at my old job, as a contractor, I threw up on my shoes before I even made it into the building. Mmmm, nice beginning. "Hi, I'm Jorth, and yes, thank you, I am aware that I smell like sick"
43 - I much prefer to knit with bamboo knitting needles. Yes, I know that it's a boring fact, but I'm fast running out of tidbits here.
42 - I find saying the word 'parenchyma' to be rather therapeutic.
41 - I'd love to frollick around in ocean for hours on end, but I'm so skinny that I turn blue after about three minutes. And then my teeth start chattering, and my limbs feel too heavy to move. So I'll never be a surf life saver. All those years of eating NutriGrain wasted! (For the record, it's best with hot milk)

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Countdown #2

80 - I have a strange desire to learn how to play the trumpet. However, when I learned the cost of a beginners trumpet, I nearly fell over. Wow, pricey.
79 - I hated high school. HATED it. I cannot at all understand why people refer to it as the 'best years of their lives'. On the last day of school, when everybody else was sobbing and saying 'we'll keep in touch forever', all I could think was "Thank goodness this misery is over, now move out of the way so I can get out of this hell hole!"
78 - Once my brother and I were wrestling on a fold up bed, and he slammed my head against the railing, and made my front tooth (a milk one) fall out. Darn thing wasn't even wobbly. However, the tooth fairy definitely came up with the goods for that one.
77 - My all time favourite book is The English Patient. However, there are many others vying for the title.
76 - I don't tend to laugh out loud watching movies or shows, even if they are side-splittingly funny. I instead make that 'harumm' noise, and tilt my head back in an approving manner. Yet if you tell me a good joke I'll be on the floor, begging you to stop because you are making my tummy hurt.
75 - I cannot draw to save myself. Actually, if I had to draw something to save myself, I could probably come up with some sort of scribble, and then my executioners would laugh at how badly rendered it was and then shoot me.
74 - I am really, really glad I don't get my period any more. Kissing those excrutiating cramps goodbye is the silver lining to an otherwise awful experience.
73 - I taught myself to knit using the internet. Predictably, I made quite a few mistakes.
72 - I have a rather large and ugly birthmark on my arm. My parents freaked out about, and insisted that it be removed. Four rather painful operations later, there is still birthmark left, however it's messily scarred, and if I hold my arm up a certain way, you can see the nice concave piece missing out if it. Niiiiiiiice!
71 - Strangely enough, I'm now rather fond of the remaining birthmark, and have no desire to have it chopped out again.
70 - Since getting married, I don't feel right wearing other rings on my fingers.
69 - I will never, ever say no to cracked pepper.
68 - If I find a book I love, I will read it over and over and over again. Not just once, more like 15 times.
67 - I cannot drive a car. At this point in my life, there is absolutely no desire in me to learn, either.
66 - I used to ride a scooter to work - remember those, and all the kids were riding them? Yep, the kids and me. People at work used to laugh at us (the Galumph would coast alongside me on his skateboard), but then when they realised that we bet them to work everyday they soon stopped laughing.
65 - I found out the hard way that scooters don't handle well in the wet.
64 - As a child, when there was nothing showing on tv on a Sunday except Wide World of Sports, I used to go through the odd-sock bag and try and hand sew clothes for my dolls out of my dad's old ratty grey Explorer socks. Not only were they indescribably ugly, but looking back I realise that I must have been desperate for something to do.
63 - Take me to a pub, and I'll order a pint every single time. None of this pot nonsense for me.
62 - I have a fear of heights. However, I didn't discover this until I was halfway over the bridge connecting Granville Island to Vancouver. Jeez it was hard getting across. All I wanted to do was jump off the bridge so I wouldn't have to face it anymore. Apparently, this is a normal reaction to have.
61 - My favourite breakfast food is sardines on toast with lime juice and cracked pepper. Mmmm, sardine breath!

Wednesday, August 23, 2006


It's my 100th post in four posts time. Crikey! I had a few ideas for celebrating, like blogging in the nude (too cold), witholding my blogging talents until all countries in the world united and came up with workable strategies to deal with climate change (no one returned my calls) or, just for pure novelty value, blogging at the top of a pole (scared of heights). So it would appear that I must fall back on that hairy old chestnut, the 100 things post. With a twist, however - I shall spread mine out over 5 days, just so all my wonderful readers can wake up each day and savour the joy of anticipation: What wonders will she reveal to us today? Or something like that.

Plus the camera isn't playing fair, so no new pics to show. Ahem. Let the countdown begin!

100 - My real name isn't Jorth. But I suspect you'd already figured that out.
99 - Likewise, I didn't actually christen my daughter with the name 'Grumbles'. It's much worse that than, bwahahah!
98 - After three entries I'm already sick of talking about myself. This is rather odd, considering this blog is all about me, me, me.
97 - Once I cut the top of my thumb off on a meat slicer (salami was the culprit). I staggered out the back, passed out and had a fit, in the process giving my boss a nice right hook and splattering her with blood. She had to throw her shirt away as she couldn't get the blood stains out. Eeeeew!
96 - Two years later I mangled two knuckles on another meat slicer. You can only see the scars when I'm really cold.
95 - I love red shoes.
94 - I also love high heels, but alas, cannot wear them as I have bung knees (yes, that is the correct medical term).
93 - I once trained as a mortuary technician. It was a bit of a dead-end job (note to self: must find better mortuary technician joke). Actually, it was a very sad job. Not to mention messy and smelly. And I didn't find the uniform of biohazard suit, gumboots, lab glasses and mesh gloves to be particulary attractive.
92 - When I was a child, I wanted to be a librarian. Sometimes, I still think I do.
91 - I still haven't figured out what I want to be when I grow up. However, I do harbour a secret ambition to be an internet rock star.
90 - Before I had Grumbles, I wrote professionally for a living. I was a technical writer. What does one do? This: Composes written matter relating to instructions, policies, procedures, science, math, or engineering for use in external or internal company publications. Investigates and studies material used through examination of systems, diagrams, and interviews. Plans and produces contents of training guides. Yes, it was nearly as exciting as it sounds.
89 - I love food. Eating it, cooking it, reading about it.
88 - If I continue to collect food magazines and recipe books, we may need to invest in another bookshelf.
87 - I am very particular about the way dishes are done. I have a system, and by George it works. If you can't follow the system, don't even offer to do the dishes in my house.
86 - No. 87 worries me a little bit. If I'm like this now, what will I be like when I'm older? Doesn't bear thinking about.
85 - I love bad pirate jokes. Like this one: What kind of movies do pirates watch? ARRRRRR-rated ones!
84 - I sometimes wonder why my husband puts up with me.
83 - I grew up on a diary farm. Still, this didn't stop me from identifying a cow as a bear when we were in Canada.
82 - One of my dreams is to ride around Prince Edward Island.
81 - At my wedding reception, which was held in the unit we were living in at the time, we hired an Irish backpacker we'd found in a pub only a few days before to cook the bbq, as the girl who was meant to cook the sausages got hit by a 15 year old driving a stolen car as she walked along a footpath in North Melbourne, and had her leg broken. It was kind of hard to explain that to people.

Rightio, more Jorth snippets tomorrow!

Monday, August 21, 2006

Sunday in the park with Grumbles

As you can probably gather from the above pics, we went and saw the Picasso exhibition on the weekend. Afterwards, the Galumph and I were discussing the pieces shown, and the Galumph lamented that not many paintings were displayed. "Hold on, silver!", I exclaimed at the very top of my voice. "They had the Weeping Woman - c'mon, how good is that? What a coup getting that over here! The Weeping bloody Woman, for goodness sake!"

A moments silence followed, before the Galumph informed me that the NGV has OWNED the Weeping Woman for years, and is actually famous for having it, and dur honey everybody knows that.

D'oh! Ignorance and stupidity coupled together again!

Friday, August 18, 2006

Yoga Wrap

Finally, my Yoga wrap is done, and it's every bit as warm as I suspected it would be. I finished it last night, and as soon as I had secured the last bit of thread, I slammed into my jimjams and snuggled on into it. Ahhh, woolly goodness - I like!

What's that ya say? You want pics? You got pics!

Project specs:
Pattern - Yoga wrap from Winter 2005 Vogue Knitting, size small
Needles - 6mm circulars (bamboo, of course!)
Yarn - 4.5 balls Rustic 12 ply in Earth from Bendigo Woolen Mills

Even though I was bored silly whilst knitting it (maybe it was the 119 stitches on 6mm circs that was weighing me down, both literally and figuratively) I kinda miss the ol' knit two together, yarn over, knit one, yarn over combo. Not so much that I'm going to rush out and knit another, but still, it sort of makes me feel like when summer comes to an end. Gah, pull yourself together, girl!

Anyways, it's as warm as toast, and I can see I'm going to get a lot of wear out of this one. Yahoo! Actually, double yahoo - when I was in the supermarket this morning a lady stopped to tell me how much she liked it! Oh yeah, I'm rocking the Yoga wrap!

UPDATE: For those who want the pattern, you can buy it from the Vogue Knitting Pattern Store.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

It's a seaming party!

The washing has been hung out, the dishes have been washed and dried, the grocery run has been completed, Grumbles is in bed snoooooozing away. Let the seaming begin!

Monday, August 14, 2006

A party isn't a party unless there are sparklers

And a party isn't a party unless a dodgy plastic chair gives way under a guest.

And then that guest grabs the table to stop himself falling.

And then the table lurches alarmingly, sending everybody's glasses flying across the table, cascading liquid onto the floor.

However, no glasses broke!

Until later, when another guest, on his way out, banged the table and knocked off a wine balloon, sending glass shards scattering across the floor.

And a party certainly isn't a party unless the remaining guests stay until 2 in the morning, singing along to old daggy favourites on YouTube.

PS If you're wondering why I'm not holding a sparkler, it's because I am always convinced that they are going to take my eyes out. Now the secret's out.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Finally - some craft!

I am so bored with knitting the Yoga wrap, which I'm sure you can all tell by the pitiful amount I've done on the second sleeve. Blah. Over it. However, must persevere so that I can actually wear it before winter is over.

Not much else going on around here, except that I think we have a cat in our roof. I can hear it meowing at odd hours, and I'm pretty sure that it met the normal resident, the possum, yesterday, who did not appear at all pleased to have a house guest. Galumph bravely stuck his head into the man-hole to seek it out this morning, balanced upon a chair upon a table, shaking a box of porridge oats to try and entice it out, but to no avail (just in case you were wondering, the oats were meant to sound like a box of dried cat food. I told him the cat wouldn't fall for it). I was a sook and hid in the bedroom with Grumbles, as I'm not a cat fan, and for some reason I've got it fixed in my head that this cat is going to be naaaaaasty. However, he/she declined to come out. Maybe the possum made friends? Maybe I should just call Pete the Possum man and get him to sort it out. Looks like more hiding in the bedroom.

I'm pathetic!

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

The big 3-0

Happy birthday, Mr G!

Monday, August 07, 2006

What did I do on the weekend? Oh, nothing much...

Bzzzzzzt! What was that flying past? Ah, the weekend. Zoom. So many things done. Like:

- Lunch at our French teacher's place. It was amazing - Watercress soup, followed by goose with cauliflower souffle, shredded zucchini and minted peas, and to top it all off, poached pears atop chocolate mousse. Can you believe, she actually plucked and cooked the goose herself. Talk about effort! And here's me not even bothering to do my miniscule amount of French homework each fortnight. Oh, the shame!

- Took blur-a-riffic snaps of the council fellows working hard through Saturday night to fix the humungeous gas leak down the street. When it came to machinery, you name it they had it. They'd even set up lights around the perimetre, so it was like a football game: Council vs Gas Leak. Council won, in extra time. As in 12:30 that night. Just as well we had plenty of Hornblower episodes to watch. Whaddya mean, nobody else does that on a Saturday night? Sheesh!

Mmmmm - gassy.

- Cut the Galumph's hair. I dread doing it, and for some strange reason he dreads having anybody else cut it. So, of course, I let it get as long as possible until G has had enough ("It's itchy!"), and then the trimming begins. Each time I swear that I'll never let it get that long again, because it's painful to cut, and he's getting a chop every six weeks. Which never happens, and thus the vicious circle continues. I have no idea why he likes me cutting it - I'm such a snappy hairdresser, pushing his poor head this way and that and barking at him to shuddupwillya? If I were him, I'd be fearing for my ears, but he bizarrely enjoys it. Strange fellow.

- We pulled out all our front garden, leaving only the silverbeet, which has yet to be eaten at all, behind. It looks kinda odd, like a silverbeet island in a dug up soil ocean.

- Cooked some of my world famous chocolate raspberries cakes for Galumph to take in to work tomorrow for his birthday. Great fight on between Galumph and Grumbles over licking the bowl. Galumph claims he let Grumbles win, but since I had my back turned anything could have happened.

- Discovered that the only way to get Grumbles to smile at the camera now is to let her pinch my neck. Nice one. So, in all the photos we took, Grumbles looks cheeky but delighted, whereas I looked pinched-out and freaky, with far too many teeth showing and my neck sagging in a frightening preview-of-me-at-90 kind of way. I'd hate to scare small children who may have wandered in front of the computer, therefore the excess Photoshopping. Plus it hides the grey.

Can you see the tell tale hand, still hovering in the neck vicinity? Mischievious blighter.

Onwards and upwards. The Galumph is 30 tomorrow. Wow!

Thursday, August 03, 2006


Welcome, my friends, to the house of snot. It appears we have an ubervirus - it's snotty, phlegmy, vomitty and coughy at all the same time! Anyhoo, it's completely wiped both Grumbles and I out for the last few days (maybe that snarky coffeeho gave it to me? Quelle surprise!) so we've been doing a lot of this:

and plenty of this:

Guilty confession - so that I can sprawl on the couch, surrounded by the parenphenalia of the invalid (toilet paper to blow nose on, endless cups of tea or oj, sick bucket etc), in peace, I've been letting Grumbles watch as much of The Wiggles as she likes. Oh, the bitter irony for the non-tv owning parent. Regardless, thanks be for Jeff, Anthony, Murray and Greg. I love you guys.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

All it took was one piece of hedgehog

Over the weekend we went down to visit the Mothership-in-law's house at the coast with Galumph's sister, and it was marvellous. What with falling off bikes, and stitches and the like, we all needed a bit of R and R. The Galumph spent most of the weekend on the couch, nursing sore limbs, Grumbles had a ball exploring a new place, and I finished one sleeve of my Yoga wrap. There were walks in the forest, and walks on the beach. It really felt like the cobwebs had been swept away!

I still felt that vibe of freshness when I woke up this morning, so I decided to throw my usual routine out the window (which is run around madly doing dishes, laundry etc before bustling down the street to do errands and then back in time for Grumbles' sleep). I cranked up the stereo, Grumbles found a pair of my heels to put on, and we danced the morning away. We still had the music in our toes as we popped on down the street for storytime at the library, and on the way home I though "Gee, let's make a morning of it - I'm going to shout myself a piece of hedgehog slice!". I should have known it was too good to last, this feeling of being in control, and complete. As soon as I stepped in the coffee shop I was assualted with the smell of coffee, with orders being barked over my head. The combination immediately took me back to my first year uni days, where I worked a morning shift at a city cafe. The guy who ran the shop was horrid, as were most of his impatient, very-important-money-making customers. I used to loath going to work. Eeek. Now, in this shop, I found myself flailing under the glare of the insolent girl behind the counter, and when she asked me what I wanted, I spurted a stream of gibberish at her in a slightly mild trip-down-horror-memory-lane panic. She raised an eyebrow, asked me what I wanted again, and this time I was so determined to spit it out properly that I enunciated every single syllable of my request so clearly that I think she thought I was affected.

Sigh. Will I ever get it right, and stop being intimidated by narky shop assitants with ugly piercings? Who knew hedgehog slice came with such a high price of confidence crushing? Maybe one day - ONE DAY! - I'll feel like a proper grown up. Probably when I'm 84, and then I'll cark it the next day, knowing my luck!

At any rate, only one sleeve of ye old Yoga wrap to go. That's something.

PS - Thanks everybody for the Galumph's get well messages. He blushed everytime a new one came in - ahhhh!