Thursday, August 24, 2006

Countdown #2

80 - I have a strange desire to learn how to play the trumpet. However, when I learned the cost of a beginners trumpet, I nearly fell over. Wow, pricey.
79 - I hated high school. HATED it. I cannot at all understand why people refer to it as the 'best years of their lives'. On the last day of school, when everybody else was sobbing and saying 'we'll keep in touch forever', all I could think was "Thank goodness this misery is over, now move out of the way so I can get out of this hell hole!"
78 - Once my brother and I were wrestling on a fold up bed, and he slammed my head against the railing, and made my front tooth (a milk one) fall out. Darn thing wasn't even wobbly. However, the tooth fairy definitely came up with the goods for that one.
77 - My all time favourite book is The English Patient. However, there are many others vying for the title.
76 - I don't tend to laugh out loud watching movies or shows, even if they are side-splittingly funny. I instead make that 'harumm' noise, and tilt my head back in an approving manner. Yet if you tell me a good joke I'll be on the floor, begging you to stop because you are making my tummy hurt.
75 - I cannot draw to save myself. Actually, if I had to draw something to save myself, I could probably come up with some sort of scribble, and then my executioners would laugh at how badly rendered it was and then shoot me.
74 - I am really, really glad I don't get my period any more. Kissing those excrutiating cramps goodbye is the silver lining to an otherwise awful experience.
73 - I taught myself to knit using the internet. Predictably, I made quite a few mistakes.
72 - I have a rather large and ugly birthmark on my arm. My parents freaked out about, and insisted that it be removed. Four rather painful operations later, there is still birthmark left, however it's messily scarred, and if I hold my arm up a certain way, you can see the nice concave piece missing out if it. Niiiiiiiice!
71 - Strangely enough, I'm now rather fond of the remaining birthmark, and have no desire to have it chopped out again.
70 - Since getting married, I don't feel right wearing other rings on my fingers.
69 - I will never, ever say no to cracked pepper.
68 - If I find a book I love, I will read it over and over and over again. Not just once, more like 15 times.
67 - I cannot drive a car. At this point in my life, there is absolutely no desire in me to learn, either.
66 - I used to ride a scooter to work - remember those, and all the kids were riding them? Yep, the kids and me. People at work used to laugh at us (the Galumph would coast alongside me on his skateboard), but then when they realised that we bet them to work everyday they soon stopped laughing.
65 - I found out the hard way that scooters don't handle well in the wet.
64 - As a child, when there was nothing showing on tv on a Sunday except Wide World of Sports, I used to go through the odd-sock bag and try and hand sew clothes for my dolls out of my dad's old ratty grey Explorer socks. Not only were they indescribably ugly, but looking back I realise that I must have been desperate for something to do.
63 - Take me to a pub, and I'll order a pint every single time. None of this pot nonsense for me.
62 - I have a fear of heights. However, I didn't discover this until I was halfway over the bridge connecting Granville Island to Vancouver. Jeez it was hard getting across. All I wanted to do was jump off the bridge so I wouldn't have to face it anymore. Apparently, this is a normal reaction to have.
61 - My favourite breakfast food is sardines on toast with lime juice and cracked pepper. Mmmm, sardine breath!


  1. I'm really enjoying your list!
    I used to LOVE World of Sport (and, I confess, had a mad crush on Sam Newman with his 70s porno mustache). I even liked the wood chopping contests.

  2. Your list is fun! Aaaarrrr there any more bad pirate jokes coming? V. funny.

  3. Anonymous1:33 pm

    Im sure Steven will be thrilled at me offering you his trumpeting talents and trumpet to practise with. He needs new friends also...

  4. Yes, I also HATED highschool and I remember those boring sport saturday afternoons aswell.

  5. Anonymous7:15 pm

    Ahhh Greville Island, we bought corn on the cob there for dinner.

  6. Anonymous8:22 pm

    After a gruelling day of customer service, what a crack up, (eventhough some numbers aren't funny) but #64 & #66 had me in the aisles. I'll be back tommorrow..

  7. Fun and downright funny list - your talents were wasted as a technical writer!


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