Friday, August 25, 2006

Countdown #3

Here we go, here we go, here we go again...
60 - I am a very good touch typist. You know in movies when they make the typing go across the screen in the suspenseful high-tech computer scenes? I could totally be the typist doing the typing, I'm THAT good.
59 - Although, just between you and me, I have a sneaking suspicion that I would crack under the pressure. Whenever I'm playing pool, I always get the 'eight ball jitters'. No matter how brilliantly I've sunk the ball in the ol' pockets before, I always take about 10 shots to pot the black. Thus usually allowing my mediocre opponent to win (what, you think I'd play against good players? I'm THERE TO WIN!)
58 - As a teenager, my rather athletic brother thought I'd make a good runner. He was right - I was pretty speedy, light and had a fair bit of stamina. He started making me do training sessions, which went well, until he devised a way to make me go really fast: he tied a rope around my waist, and then tied the rope to a tyre and then made me run up the Mahoney's hill with it bouncing behind me. The Mahoney's hill was practically a 90 degree angle. The theory behind this was that without the tyre I would be Speedy Gonzarlas.
57 - It ended up being more like not-so-Speedy-with-rope-marks-around-tummy-arlas. Do you people have any idea how hard it is to run up a hill with a car tyre attached to you? BLOODY HARD.
56 - I was also rather scared that, whilst staggering along with the tyre, the Mahoney's bull would come along and chase me. Or even Mr Mahoney himself. Let me tell you, this didn't add to the joy of the training sessions.
55 - In my mind, the smell of summer is Jasmine. That's all there is to it. Jasssssmine.
54 - I learnt fairly early on that Santa Claus didn't exist, but I played along for years for the sake of my sister, who is four years younger than me. I have a feeling that my parents thought I was rather daft and slow to clue on.
53 - And that reminds me, my favourite smell is Christmas tree. I can't stop myself - even if I'm at somebody's house, if they have a Christmas tree, you'll find me with my nose nestled right in, oblivious to the dangers of needles and ornaments poking out me eyes. I have to be forcibly dragged away from the damn thing.
52 - I love playing Trivial Pursuit. Love it, love it, love it.
51 - For some very obscure reason, 7:11 is my favourite time of the day. I know, seriously weird, who else has a favourite time of the day? Except maybe the Queen Mum, for whom 5 o'clock meant cocktails. AM or FM, doesn't make any different to me. 7:11 is where it's at.
50 - I like anecdotes about old time movies stars. Particulary the one about Marilyn Monroe meeting Arthur Miller's mother for the first time. They'd gone around for lunch, and Marilyn had to use the toilet, but didn't want anybody to hear her wee, so she ran the tap the whole time she was in bathroom. A few days later, Arthur rings up his mum, and says "So, what did you think of Marilyn?" His mother answered, "Oh, Arthur, she's lovely. A beautiful girl, really beautiful. But just between you and me, she pisses like a horse!"
49 - As children, my brothers and I would play frisbee with dried cow pats. Occaisonally you'd pick up one that wasn't quite so dry. No fun. (Bad joke: What do you get if you sleep under a cow? A pat on the head!)
48 - I have quite a few grey hairs. They can stay. I know they're going to win in the end, so why even bother opening up a pack of hair dye? Besides, they make me look distinguished, which is good, because nothing else does.
47 - I love clothes. Unusual ones. Not unusual as in whacky, more like well thought out design. I don't follow fashiony trends, just go for pieces that I love and will wear for years and years to come.
46 - I would never wear anything that wouldn't suit me, just because it was in fashion. I'll leave fashion for the younguns, and create my own distinctive look.
45 - I believe any outfit looks better with lashings of eye shadow and mascara.
44 - I had 24 hour morning sickness. It was horrid. I threw up everywhere. Even cleaning my teeth would make me hurl. On my first day back at my old job, as a contractor, I threw up on my shoes before I even made it into the building. Mmmm, nice beginning. "Hi, I'm Jorth, and yes, thank you, I am aware that I smell like sick"
43 - I much prefer to knit with bamboo knitting needles. Yes, I know that it's a boring fact, but I'm fast running out of tidbits here.
42 - I find saying the word 'parenchyma' to be rather therapeutic.
41 - I'd love to frollick around in ocean for hours on end, but I'm so skinny that I turn blue after about three minutes. And then my teeth start chattering, and my limbs feel too heavy to move. So I'll never be a surf life saver. All those years of eating NutriGrain wasted! (For the record, it's best with hot milk)


  1. Anonymous3:51 pm

    I can't believe your brother tied a car tire to you, hillarious!

  2. i love trivial pursuit too! but everyone accuses me of cheating, it's no fun beating people who think you're a cheater.
    mmm, i'm picturing a game of not-quite-dry cow pat frisbee.....

  3. Am loving reading about you!!
    I can relate to some...hurling while cleaning teetth....not the hot milk though!!

  4. You are very funny. I'm really enjoying these facts. Maybe you could be the first person to do 1000 things about you!

  5. Am going to always try and comment on your blog at 7.11 from now on.

    Isn't that thoughtful of me?

  6. Ditto 55( and Basil).
    48( but loads now....just
    call me Badger).
    45( + perfume).
    This is exceptional reading J. It's great getting to know you.

  7. Anonymous6:48 pm

    Yeah! Go for the 1000!

  8. Anonymous8:45 pm

    hot milk on cereal is a must in all my breakfast bowls - not just nutrigrain - chink chink to that


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