The new invasion

So, I have a confession to make: we poisoned it. I was completely freaked out by everybody's rat stories (trust me, when it comes to rodents, nobody has a nice story!), and a cat was out of the question thanks to our rental agreement. So poison it was.

We haven't seen him for a week or so, so I'm supposing that he's gone to the big rat nest in the sky. Sorry, Mr Rat!

Maybe the karma has already caught up with me, as now we have an ant invasion. Sigh. They are everywhere. From every single nook and cranny they have come pouring out - it's like the 10 plagues of Egypt! So I've gone for my trusty old remedy of talcum powder - apparently they hate it, and it seems to have done the trick, as none have ventured out for the past couple of days.


So, that's my life in a nutshell. Feeling guilty about the rat, and living in a house festooned with a light covering of talc on every bloody surface. And it's not at all annoying when it makes odd marks on your clothes, usually around the lady bits part. Oh no, not at all. Oh, I'm loving living in my white, violet-scented hell.

In cheerier news, this is my 200th post. Hooray!

Ours isn't nearly as cute as Remy below

I was in bed the other night, just dropping off to sleep, when I heard the unusual sound of dishes clanking in the kitchen. "WTF?", I thought, and got out of bed to investigate.

As I crept slowly down the passage way, the clunking got louder. I was getting a bit nervous by this stage, so I turned on the light and in a quavering voice said "Whooooo - who's there?"

Then I heard this: scurry, scurry, scurry, squeak, squeak, squeak. The rat heard this: GARRRRRGGGGGHGHHHH!


I raced back into the bedroom and assailed the Galumph with a frantic, panicky "There's something in the kitchen!" He sat bolt upright, and said "There's somebody in the kitchen?!" "Nooooo!", I replied. "It's even worse - something!"


I threw myself under the covers, and shook (yes, I was being a big fat girl about it all!), whilst the Galumph went down to investigate. I could hear odd thumping noises, but that was it. When he came back to bed, he was bearing bad, bad news: it was a rat that had been in, as evidenced by it's wee little bowel movements that it left behind.

When the morning come (the night had been spent with out bedroom door firmly locked - what if it tried to get in during the night, ewww), Galumph investigated properly and found that it had come in through a hole in the wall where the heating duct was, then nibbled through the cupboard in the kitchen, and squeezed it's way past the dishwasher so it could scamper all over my dish rack. I spend the entire day washing and disinfecting everything in sight. I even found myself peering paranoidly into cupboards to look at dishes that it couldn't possibly have found access to, wondering if maybe I should wash them, just to be on the safe side (truly, there can be no bounds where my rat paranoia is concerned).

So, we've plugged in the hole with steel wool, which apparently they hate and won't chew through, and are now debating what to do. I'm not very keen on poisoning it, but then again I don't want it anybloodywhere near me. Should we invest in one of those $100 hi frequency things you plug in that send them crazy, then send them away? The little devil is still out there - the last few nights we've been watching Pride and Pejuidice (hey, I needed comfort viewing), and I've seen the little @#$%er racing across our courtyard - shudder. He's probably gathering all his rodent friends so they can launch a mass vermin assault on the steel wool and make themselves completely and utterly at home (paranoia again).

So, any suggestions? I just want him gone! It's funny, I can handle spiders, leeches, maggots - heck, even dead bodies, but rats and mice give me the heebie jeebies.

Heeeeeelp!

What have I been doing?

I can't believe it's Thursday already. Thursday! This week has flown! So, a quick round-up!

- On the weekend we rode down to the Abbotsford Convent for the Slow Food Market. It was awesome! I highly recommend the nougat. I also bought a bunch of nettles, but then felt too intimidated to actually use them (bad me), so they sat on the bench until they drooped into oblivion. As you can probably tell, I'm feeling inordinately guilty about that. I'll just have to console myself with that fact that while I was sitting at a bench near the market, scoffing a supremely delectable lemon tart, the lovely Felicity came over to introduce herself.

- Thinking about it, I'm not sure I made such a good impression. That's the worst thing about being spotted as you go about your day to day business: when somebody comes up to say hello, you're busted with a really bad case of helmet hair (trust me, it wasn't pretty) and lemon tart all over your face. And stinky coffee breath. Note to self: try to look more pulled together.

- In my efforts to maintain that Plastic Free lifestyle o' mine, I bought myself a Sigg bottle. Best thing ever. It's lightweight and is specially coated on the inside so that your liquid cannot be contaminated, which can be a problem with other vessels over time. I think it's rather cool, even if, to quote a friend, it looks like I'm swigging petrol out of a fuel bottle every time I have a drink. That would explain the odd looks I've been given when I offer Grumbles some water. Oh, the trials and tribulations of being me.

- I just finished reading The Memory Keeper's Daughter. I highly recommend that you do not read this book. It was like a long drawn out soap opera. Too many words to say too little, and predictable to boot. It's a pity, because the premise was good, but the story just plodded on by. I was disappointed that they didn't truly explore the issues and the absolute joys of raising a child with Down's syndrome, instead just focussing on the administritive side of it all, like getting Phoebe a decent education. When the author did elect to mention other concerns and worries, ti felt so token and unexplored. And I'm sure that the parents would have felt more emotions that just guilt. But that's just my opinion. Feel free to disagree!

- On a sunnier note, how amazing has the weather been?! It feels like summer already, even though winter doesn't officially end for another day. I've been possessed with a need to launder anything and everything, as it all dries in a matter of hours. Fabric in my house, consider this your warning: You are not safe from my maniacal desire to clean!

- There's a laneway at the back of our house, and certain people who work nearby often speed along it in their cars, and give you a lot of grief if you happen to get in your way. Never mind the fact that you may be just trying to get your small children into the back door. As I'm sitting here typing with the window open, I can hear one of my neighbours blasting them for their rudeness. Hooray!

On the weekend

Wow - what a crazy, hurly burly weekend we just had. We:

- Took Grumbles to the Aquarium as a belated birthday trip with her Gram. I think she enjoyed it, even if she did yell herself horse screaming "Look, Emo! (That's what she calls Nemo). Look, Dory! Look, EMO! Emo, Emo, EMO!"

- Got ourselves taken out as a belated birthday trip to the Rialto's 41st level restaurant. It was a lovely evening, even for a person who is scared of heights. I'm probably the only person ever who ate there to keep her back most assiduously to the window! The worst bit was when the Galumph's dad kept insisting that we wander around to view the city from every possible angle. I was holding tight onto that wine glass - I needed all the Dutch courage I could get!

- Got my other blog, Dinner Daily, featured on Whip Up. Wooohoooo! Thanks, Whip Up folks!

- Started developing a sore throat, just when I'd thought I was safe from the illnesses suffered by the Galumph and Grumbles for last couple of weeks. To you, sore throat, I say No! I REFUSE to get sick!

Dog days

One of the nicest things about having my Motherinlawship come up to stay is her dog.

Hmm - that really didn't come out the way I meant it.

But anyway, back to the dog. Isn't he handsome. Oh Fudge, how I love thee!

Aunty Cookie says relax

Oh dear - the Grumbles has that dreadful cough that is going around. She's in her room now, supposedly for a sleep, but all I can hear is her feeble little 'cough, cough' noise. Poor old tiger who doesn't sleep.

So it's a quiet day around chez Jorth. I'm going to bring out the paints for Grumbles and amuse myself with my awesome Aunty Cookie goodies (thanks, Shannon!). Oh, and maybe peruse the first ever issue of Mix Tape magazine. How good is it?

And to keep you all entertained, since I am infinitely boring today, here's some spiffy links. Don't say I don't keep y'all occupied.

FitzPatterns - some pretty cool free sewing patterns to download

BurdaStyle - even more rocking free sewing patterns

The Modern Pattern Design book, published in 1942 - this is actually a great pattern design course for anybody who is interested in designing their own clothes.

Mr Bean-style Teddy Bear - what can I say except awwwww!

Keepin' It Real - what would celebs look like if they were just normal folk like you and I. Freaking hilarious! The Gwyneth one is my favourite.

Houston, we have a finished Holey Jumper. I repeat, finished Holey jumper!

So I FINALLY finished the holey jumper. Phew! Man, I am so crap at taking those self portrait shots. Oh well, I'm sure you'll excuse me. I honestly took about a billion photos, and that was the best one I could find. None of them show the stitch detail (fault of the black yarn, I'm guessing, and my dark dim house), so pop on over here to see what the official version looks like.

Anyhow, I'm pretty pleased with it all. It wasn't the easiest knit I've ever done, but quite satisifying once you got into the rhythm of it. Doing all those yarn overs and slip stitch knitwise then knit 3 then slip slipped stitch over 3 felt pretty nifty!

I made it in a size medium, as it's for my sister-in-law, not me, and I'm glad I did, as she's a wee bit bigger than I am, and the jumper is pretty darn snug as is. Warm as can be, though. All in all, it's come out rather well. And I learnt how to do the free loop back stitch for attaching the neckband, so it was a fabulous knit to learn some new techniques on.

Rightio, down to business - Project specs:

Pattern - #20 - Pull, from Phildar Tendances Automne 05/06

Yarn - 3 balls of Bendigo Woollen Mills Alpaca in Jet Black

Needles - 3mm and 3.5mm

What's for dinner?

Tired of figuring out what to have for dinner each night? Feel like you're running out of creative meal solutions? Fear no more - my spiffy new food blog, Dinner Daily, is here to save the day!

So drop on by for 5 - that's right, 5! - new meal ideas each week. Huzzah!

Ways to fill in a rainy afternoon

[Guest post by Grumbles]

1 - Get a nice big sheet of paper out.

2 - Tell mum repeatedly what you'd like drawn. I found, in this instance, that saying "Cats, Mummy! Let's draw cats!" over and over again finally wore her down.

3 - Jump up and down in excitement while aforementioned cats are being drawn.

4 - Offer to help Mum with paints by squeezing the paint onto the bathroom floor. This step isn't really necessary, but I find it's always good for a laugh.

5 - Get stuck in! You can paint on the actual paper if you like, but I also find painting the table, chairs (usually prompts Mum to bellow "No, Grumbles, not the chair - it'll staaaaaaain!", and then make a mad dash for a cloth to wipe it up. Totally good fun!), more of the table, and my new dress really gets the creative juices flowing. Oh, and a word from the wise: try not to lose interest after only a few minutes. That can really make for a grumpy Mummy, and she might withold your afternoon banana or even worse - not let you get the glitter out to sprinkle over everything!

I am a free loop back stitch virgin no more - huzzah!

After pushing it aside, and ramming it into the 'too hard' basket, and trying my best to ignore it, I finally realised that if I didn't get over my fear of the unknown, in this case doing the free loop back stitch attachment of the neckband to this top, then it would never ever be finished. I'd already blocked the darn thing, so there were no excuses left - it had to be done, and that was that.

So yesterday I sat down, needle at the ready, with nerves of jelly (what if I botched it up? What if the neckband unravelled uncontrollably and everything, including me, went to pieces? What if the neckband sat wrong, and looked stupid and crooked? What if the Russians actually do end up claiming the Arctic, and begin drilling for oil, thus destroying prisinte, untainted land for ever, and a new cold war eprupts as armed countries begin a fight forfuel resources? - oops, wrong issue) and began. And guess what?

It wasn't that bloody hard after all (of course).

Careful work, yes. Time consuming, yes. Utterly boring, and tempting to do only half and leave the rest to tomorrow, yes. But I stuck with it, and now the neck line is very neatly, and, if I do say so myself, quite adeptly sewn on. Hoorah! I'd show a pic, but the black wool photographs really badly in my dark, dim house, so you get a picture of two more dolls made over the weekend instead.

But before I bless you retinas with the pic, I'd like to give a big shout out to Becky, for without her excellent free loop back stitch tutorial I'd have been utterly lost, and damned to a lifetime of neckband avoidance. Thanks, Rabbit!

Ok, ok, the dolls - sheesh!

We came. We saw. We planted.

300 people. 4,000 plants put in. Two sausages and one falafel roll each eaten afterwards (hey, all that planting makes a person hungry!). Not a bad effort, methinks.

Lots of volunteers, hard at work.

Carefully putting in a plant.

The few buckets got snaffled up pretty quickly, so our heroic water bottle came to the rescue. Grumbles forgot halfway through she wasn't supposed to drink the dirty water and had a big gulp. Silly duffer!

Related links:

Planet Ark - National Tree Day

Merri Creek Management Committee

Plant yerself a tree

I don't know what your plans for the weekend include, but I'm going to plants some trees, for this weekend includes National Tree Day. It's a pretty cool set up - you find a site in your neighbourhood, then pop along on the day, help with the planting and then pig out on the free bbq afterwards. Sweeeet! In fact, I think the one I'm going to even has a band playing.

To quote from the official site, "The planting of these local native trees helps to provide food and shelter for Australia's wildlife, increasing native biodiversity and combating the habitat loss that threatens much of our wildlife." In a big city like Melbourne, which has one of the greatest urban sprawl rates in the world (one of the websites I visited before defined it as 'world class'. Geez, like it's something to be proud of?!?), I think a few more trees or shrubs certainly wouldn't go astray.

So grab yourself some gardening gloves, and I'll see you there!

Oh, and for anybody interested, here's a nice little easily disgestible article on Ecocities. Enjoy!

Sheep and slippers and getaways and prizes!

Well, well, well! Thanks so much for all the birthday wishes, especially from the delurkers. It was fun to find out who you all were, that's fer sure. As for the birthday prize - last night I made the Galumph do some computer wizardry involving random selection and lots of coding that I don't understand (confession: I didn't even ask him to explain it to me, just in case I put my 'glazed, tuned-out' face on, which I try and avoid at all costs - I think the secret to a happy marriage is appearing to be most interested at all times). So, after he mucked around for a while he came up with a winner.

What, you want me to tell you who it is now? Ok, it's (drumroll, please)... Boffcat! Well done, you. Send me your address, and I'll put your pressie in the post pronto.

Rightio. What other news? Oh, we went away for my birthday, and stayed in the cutest little cottage ever, but man oh man was it cold! The Galumph, being much more of a wuss than I am, was walking around during the day wearing him jim jam pants under his normal ones, the sooky la la! Twice we woke up to frost covered ground, which excited me beyond all reasonable expectations, so much so that I found on both mornings outside in my very non-waterproof slippers snapping away at the frost goodness of it all. See?

Very ugly pink sheepskin slippers may have been injured (i.e. soaked through) during the taking of this photograph.

It was so nice to be away from the hustle 'n' bustle of the big smoke. The cottage we stayed in was on the edge of a small country town, and opposite us, on the other side of the road, was a paddock full of sheep. We all spent far to many hours sitting on the verander, listening and watching the sheep and lambs go about their daily business. What can I can, it wasn't baaaaaaaad!

Now I am 30

It's my birthday tomorrow, and I'm turning.... wait for it... thirty! And to be honest, I'm not actually finding it the big deal that most of my aquaintances have. After almost dying giving birth to Grumbles, I'm just thankful to be here full stop.

Although, now I'm thinking about it, a lot of things have changed for me in the last decade. So, to celebrate both leaving my third decade and entering my fourth (oh, groan, now I am feeling a teeny weeny bit over the hill!) I'm going to do a bit of a before and after.

This time ten years ago I was:
- bored out of my brain studying, amongst other things, haematology, microbiology, histology and clinical chemistry
- doing musicals in my spare time (geez, how embarassing)
- bemoaning the fact that I didn't have a boyfriend, and my prospects didn't ever seem to be improving
- living in a tiny flat by myself without a television, trying not to freeze to death in winter as the flat had no heating
- working at a supermarket to support myself
- scared of computers - I was convinced I would break them somehow

Now I am:
- a stay at home mum looking after my gorgeous Grumbles
- quite a proficient knitter and sewer
- not so scared of computers anymore - heck, I can even wrangle about in Photoshop!
- a big old hairy environmentalist
- happily, blissfully married, and soon to celebrate our 5th wedding anniverary (feel free to barf now)
- an avid swimmer, bike rider and walker
- much more cantankerous, passionate, agreeable, light hearted, wondering, can-do, bonkers, secure in myself, compassionate, and, more often than not, to be found in the kitchen cooking.

So happy birthday to me, and here's to hoping that the next decade is as fun and joyful as the last has been. Hoorah!


PS Delurk and wish me a happy birthday! Go on, I dares ya!

UPDATE! I can't believe I almost forgot my birthday tradition of giving away a little gift for all my lovely blog readers. Well, here it is now. You know the rules - leave a comment and if your name gets pulled out of the hat a copy of a super snazzy book of crafty goodness will be winging its way over to you. Hooray for birthdays!

Can I call myself a journalist now?

Feel like a good read? Then go and get yourself a copy of MixTape! Added bonus - I'm writing a column in it, huzzah! It's a little zine that focuses on making time for the small things, and has heaps of excellent articles, tutorials, crafting stuff... oh, just trust me, it's fab!

What? You're still here? Go on, go. Shoo!

(Meheheh, I felt so much like Ferris Bueller saying that!)

The one where I rant about my knitting

Remember this?

Well, I've finally finished knitting it. Only a month and a half late for my sil's birthday, oops! But the worst is yet to come - I have to sew it together. Normally I don't mind the sewing part, because as soon as you're done, you've got a brand new jumper to hop about in, but this one is going to be a doozy. The instructions have called for the neckband (which, incidentally, took me three! days to knit, as it was 210 stitches long) to be attached using the free-loop backstitch method.

Oh, in English? Right - you knit the neckband, then cast off using a different type of wool. This last row is then unravelled, stitch by stitch, and sewn oh so very carefully onto the jumper. The potential for completely botching this up is incredible.

For all ye mathematicians out there, the formula can be expressed thus:

Jorth plus delicate work inverted over the square root of stress-induced sweating divided by equal parts of nervy trembling fingers equals sure-fire cockup, plus or minus some acute hollering.

So, if you hear some odd screaming along the lines of "You f-ing, f-ing, f-ing stupid whoreson cullionly barbermonger* piece of knitting, you!" emanating from chez Jorth in the next few days, then you'll know things are going not quite as hoped.

*Apologies to Mr Shakespeare.

Please see your doctor if pain from quilt persists

I quite enjoyed spending this weekend quietly inside, pottering away and cutting out my new quilt, but wheeeeee! All those various computations of black and white can sure give a girl a bad case of vertigo. Combine the dizzy feeling that came about from looking at the patterns too much with the ickyness of spending a couple of hours bending down from the floor then back up to the table, floor to table, arranging, rearranging etc and guess, just guess what you end up with? A headache. A quilt induced headache, nonetheless. Whodathunkit? They should come with nifty little signs: Beware of the quilt. This quilt may be a health hazard!

Still, it's going to look at treat when I sew it up (I hope). And with all that crazy patterning going on, I won't have a hope in hell of discovering if Grumbles has been jumping on the bed via the tell tale footprints. Who could find them amongst all that vividness?

Rainy

A few people have left comments, wanting to know how the frugality challenge is going. The quick answer: Um, could have been better. It's been completely snot city around here, with poor old Grumbles hacking away like a seasoned smoker for the last week. Which meant that we copped out and bought lots of juice (in plastic bottles, gasp!) which I'd banned for the month, because I am tight and water is good enough for us, got it?!, and also treated ourselves to some rented DVDs.

The DVDs may have been more trouble than they were worth. I grabbed Curious George, because it was cute and it featured a monkey. Grumbles loves monkeys. Too much, it appears, as all she wants to do now, every second of the day, is 'watch the monkey, Mummy!' It wouldn't be so bad, but the lead guy is voiced by Will Ferrell, who would have to be the actor in the world who most makes my skin crawl. Seriously - if I know he's in a movie, than it's all over, red rover. I will barely be able to sit throught it, let alone admit that it might be good, I find him THAT annoying (I dare say he thinks the same about me). But what can you say to a kid who can barely smile for coughing? So it's Will Ferrell's voice a couple of times a day while she recovers, and I scurry around the house trying to find corners to in which to hide away from his voice.

We also had to drive the motherinlawship to the airport at Avalon last night, and on the way home we copped out and bought take away. Oh my goodness, was the Princes Highway scary! The rain was bucketing down, so hard you couldn't even see the lines on the road, but that didn't stop anybody from going less than 110 kph. The West Gate bridge was the worst - the speed limit was 80, and the wind was gusting so hard that it was forcing giant sheets of rain right into us, and you could scarcely see the road in front at all. The car was being buffetted like crazy by the wind, as were all the cars around us - you could actually see them slide across the road as each gust came. My job was to keep an eye on the lines of the road, and direct the Galumph if he strayed from them, while he manned the wheel and tried to navigate the psychotic traffic around us. When we got home, he uttered "That would have to be the most intense and frightening driving experience of my life!", before plunking himself down on the couch, where he pretty must remained, prostrate, for the rest of the evening.

So we've splashed out on juice, rented some DVDs and had one take away. Not bad, really! And only 16 days to go.

The big three!

Cor blimey! See how much she's grown!

Three months

One year

Two years

Three years

Happy birthday to my Grumbles! Although your entry into the world wasn't the happiest, I'd do it all over again in a moment, in a flash, in a heartbeat, without a second thought, because the last few years have truly been the very best of my life.

The Month of Frugality has begun!

This month has been offically declared by the Jorth household as The Month of Frugality. That's right - we're being tight-arses for a month! It came about a few weeks ago, when the Galumph and I were paying bills, thinking about our savings plan and having a moan and groan about money in general, and in particular our lack of it. Then I came up with the most sterling idea - how much money would we have left at the end of the month if we did nothing but paid for rent, bills and food?

We quickly tottered up the sums and then sat back in our chairs, thinking "You know, old chap, this might just work!" The money we save won't have us running out to buy a house next month (gah, or even next year - house prices in Melbourne are BLEEPING RIDICULOUS!), but every little bit helps, and the whole frugality thing fits in well with plastic free and Wardrobe Refashion. One week in, and we're doing surprisingly well. We haven't succumbed to buying any lunches at shops, take aways in general, books, magazines or anything! I'm telling you, thriftiness is the next black, doncha know?!

The only fly in the ointment was the fact that Grumbles 3rd birthday falls in the middle of it. However, the troika of frugality, craftiness and resourcefulness has come to rescue in the form of this:

Like it? I'm enamoured with it! (What's that sound? Oh, my trumpet). It's the Sangsang doll, made from a pattern by Melly and Me. And the best bit is that she is made completely from scraps. Scraps of clothes made for Grumbles in fact, so there's some nice little memories sewn up all together.

Just a quick note on the construction of the doll: I wasn't sure if the pattern included a seam allowance or not, so I added a 1cm one. Also, it says to glue the felt face, eyes etc onto the doll, but I don't fancy using fabric glue on a toy that Grumbles might sleep with, so I handstitched mine on.