Thursday, July 12, 2007

The one where I rant about my knitting

Remember this?

Well, I've finally finished knitting it. Only a month and a half late for my sil's birthday, oops! But the worst is yet to come - I have to sew it together. Normally I don't mind the sewing part, because as soon as you're done, you've got a brand new jumper to hop about in, but this one is going to be a doozy. The instructions have called for the neckband (which, incidentally, took me three! days to knit, as it was 210 stitches long) to be attached using the free-loop backstitch method.

Oh, in English? Right - you knit the neckband, then cast off using a different type of wool. This last row is then unravelled, stitch by stitch, and sewn oh so very carefully onto the jumper. The potential for completely botching this up is incredible.

For all ye mathematicians out there, the formula can be expressed thus:

Jorth plus delicate work inverted over the square root of stress-induced sweating divided by equal parts of nervy trembling fingers equals sure-fire cockup, plus or minus some acute hollering.

So, if you hear some odd screaming along the lines of "You f-ing, f-ing, f-ing stupid whoreson cullionly barbermonger* piece of knitting, you!" emanating from chez Jorth in the next few days, then you'll know things are going not quite as hoped.

*Apologies to Mr Shakespeare.


  1. Anonymous7:08 pm

    Heh, heh, double heh. I'm not a knitter, but the description of your situation is a scream!

  2. Wow, you are much braver than me! I would never have tackled that method - far far too scary.
    Its a gorgeous pattern, though. She must be one hell of a sister.

  3. damn you for making me giggle at my computer screen like a crazy person!


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