Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The 2012 Crafting Olympics - Part 6

Green Knitted Tab

Where were we? That's right: Jean-Luc, evil man, had gotten created evidence of Jorth breaking the rules of the Dress Marathon event. He was going to use this to blackmail both Jorth and Bob - Jorth would be disqualified from her Olympic event and Bob would have to quit his beloved radio show, confessing his sins and being scorned by the entire crafting community. It's trying times here folks, so make yourself a coffee (or perhaps a stiff drink if you are of a nervous disposition) and settle down to find out what happens next in the 2012 Crafting Olympics story...

When Bob had rung Jorth, and told her that she needed to meet with him in his office immediately, Jorth immediately dropped what she was doing, and headed into the radio station where he had his small pokey office. Without knocking she opened the door, and came across Bob and one of the Crafting Olympic Inspectors, both looking grave. Jorth looked at Bob. Bob looked at Jorth. The inspector gazed at them both, and was a smidge startled when both Bob and Jorth both threw their arms in the air and shouted "Wooooohooooooo!"

After enveloping Jorth in a quick bear hug, Bob exclaimed with glee "We've got him! We totally got that little piece of macraméd work! I knew he was up to something sneaky and dirty! Tell you what, Jorthy my girl, you were brave putting that bugging device on him like you did, but it's done the trick, and now we've both got him on tape, organising for you to be framed so he could blackmail us. He'll never wriggle free now!"

Jorth sank into the easy chair with a look of relief on her face, as the Inspector scribbled notes onto his notepad. Grinning up at Bob, she said "Urgh! I've done some unpleasant things in my time, but cuddling up to him to attach the bug to one of his macramé beads was seriously in the top 5. All I could feel was his dangly bits pressing into me as he squeezed me in tight. Gross!"
Bob looked alarmed at this piece of news. "His dangly bits? He got that close? That's disgusting!"

Jorth looked at Bob in confusion. "Er, yeah, the dangly bits from that stupid macramé belt he always wears." Looking up at Bob with comprehension dawning on her face, she said "What dangly bits exactly were you referring to, Bob?"

Bob shifted his feet, and began to mutter in an embarrassed fashion, but thankfully the Inspector came to his rescue. Tapping his notepad, he said "So, let me get this straight: Jean-Luc has attempted to show that Jorth was beginning a new project - which we all know is against the rules - by hiring a hack to send her yarn sale emails, and then getting the aforementioned hack to take pictures of her in the act. He was then going to use this evidence to force Bob to admit that Jorth was hopeless on air and had no chance of winning gold, and then renounce his job at the radio station, resulting in Jean-Luc having the program all to himself. If that didn't work, he was going to spill a secret about Bob, which would force Bob's hand and make him resign. Is that correct?"

Both Jorth and Bob nodded their heads emphatically.

"And you have the evidence...?" asked the Inspector.

"Sure do!", said Bob. "Jorth placed a bug on JL, which recorded his dealings with the hacker, where he organised for the hacker to send her yarn sale emails and to take pictures of her buying the yarn. This nifty little device," he said patting a machine on the table, "was able to receive the transmission from the bug on Jean-Luc. Then, when he came to blackmail me, I used the device to record our conversation, all of which is contained on the tape I have given you."

"Very good!", said the Inspector. "I shall, of course, need to listen to the tape, but I trust that all is in order. You are both free to continue on as you are, and I shall have a little chat with our friend Jean-Luc."

"Just one question, Inspector", said Jorth, somewhat nervously. "Am I truly clear to keep competing in the Crafting Olympics? You see, I only swatched for a new project in the shop, because I knew that Jean-Luc had sent that Hansel fellow to take pictures, and I wanted to make it look as realistic as possible. But swatching isn't against the rules, is it? Please tell me I can still compete. I mean, I want more than anything to see Jean-Luc be brought to task, but I would also still like to compete and get that Dress Marathon gold medal."

The Inspector graced her with a smile that he usually reserved for only the best crafting athletes. Pulling the latest edition of the rule book from his pocket, he riffled through the pages until he found the one he want. Clearing his throat with an impressive, if somewhat phlegmy, noise he read "According to Section 12, Subsection 8, Rule No. 4b, a Dress Marathon entrant may swatch only for a new project whilst competing in the above event." Looking at Jorth, he said "Can you prove to me that you have swatched, and swatched only?"

Jorth beamed with relief. "Sure can!" she said, fishing the knitting shop bag out of her backpack. Within was contained the receipt, showing that she purchased 6 balls of yarn. 5 of these were still intact, except for one, which had be used to create a very little swatch, still attached to the needles.

The Inspector glanced over it, and then said "Everything seems to be in order. You are free to compete!"

"Phew!" said Jorth, sinking deep down into the easy chair. The Inspector smiled at her, and began to gather up his things. As he put on his hat, he said "Well, Miss Jorth, Bob, with that I shall take my leave."

"Halt!" said Bob rather hoarsely. "I... I have something I want to confess to. I know what I am about to say may shock you - heck, you may even scorn me for life, but it's been hanging over me like the bloody Devil himself, and it's time to be rid of it. I want to tell you the secret I've been keeping all these years, that Jean-Luc was trying to expose. I'd rather tell you myself that let that weasel have the pleasure, and to be frank, I'm sick of living a lie. I know that this may spell the end of my textile career, but I'll never be free until the truth has been told."

Jorth and the Inspector stood in silence, both nervously awaiting what Bob may have to say. Finally the Inspector found his voice. "Shall I take a seat? Will this take long?"

Bob rubbed his hands fretfully together. "Yes, you'd best. Like unravelling a piece of poorly made lace, this may take some time."

Whooooooaaaa! What could it be that Bob feels the need to confess to? Will Jorth remain his friend? Will the Inspector still feel easy about attending Bob's monthly poker games once Bob has revealed all? And who dares create poorly made lace? Stay tuned for the latest in the twisting saga of the 2012 Crafting Olympics!

Enjoyed this? Why not revisit the rest?

The 2012 Crafting Olympics - Part 1

The 2012 Crafting Olympics - Part 2

The 2012 Crafting Olympics - Part 3

The 2012 Crafting Olympics - Part 4

The 2012 Crafting Olympics - Part 5


  1. I am absurdly pleased by this :) Can anyone join in the Crafting Olympics? Maybe we could make it a yearly (four years is too long...) blog event :)

  2. Certainly! Come on board! Tell your friends! Inform your blog! Start being the best craftathlete you can be!

  3. Oh how very brave of both Bob and Jorth. I now wait, heart in mouth, to find out Bob's secret.

  4. yikers, what shall bob confess? the suspense, jorthy! have mercy on us readers with fragile suspense-meters.


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