Thursday, July 25, 2013

90's pattern timewarp

It all happened so quickly that in later years even Jorth herself sometimes wondered if it was real or a dream. One minute she was merrily stepping along the street on her way to buy groceries, the next she was surrounded by a screaming, whirling wind that picked her up and tossed her about. Her brain felt like it was turning into cotton wool, and she closed her eyes against the harsh, violet light that filled every space.

Round and round she was thrown into a nothing that was everything yet not. How long she remained there she knew not, but eventually the light became less intense, and the wind, if not a true scream, was at least reduced to a dull roar. She landed upright and frantically pushed the hair out of her face as she strained to figure out where she was. From where she stood the world was nothing but a series of chaotic images, flitting past her whilst a dirty and wild fog swirled around. Concentrating hard, she tried to pick up what she was seeing. Was that a pair of happy pants on that person? And was that noise a song by Lisa Loeb being played on a cassette player? Was Beverly Hills 90210 playing on that tv?

Suddenly the atmosphere changed. The fog was replaced by a cruel, quick wind that whipped thousands of pieces of paper past Jorth. She tried to catch them - anything to give her a clue as to what was happening - when once more she was picked up and tossed into the whirling air, and quickly the violet light obscured all else.

Just as soon as it had begun, the wind stopped. The light returned to normal and Jorth found herself on the street once more, only this time clutching some papers tight to her chest. Once her dizziness left her, along with the feeling that she might puke all over her shoes, she looked at the papers and was thrilled to see that they were a collection of patterns from the 1990s.

"I KNEW IT!" she gasped. "I fell through a hole in the time/space continuum. Whoa! This is fricking amazing! Not only am I the world's first time traveller, but I've also got some awesome patterns out of it!"

She wondered briefly if she should call the experts at the Max Planck Institute of Physics in Munich to tell them of her adventure, but realised she had something far more important to do first. She needed to rush home and gets sewing, stat. These were really good patterns!

90s Patterns


  1. Was there a Happy Pants pattern blowin' around in there?
    Mine thinks we need one.
    Can't touch this.

  2. LOL! I have V7475, bought when it was "on trend". I feel a bit old now.....


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