Friday, March 09, 2012

The 2012 Crafting Olympics - Part 2

Green Knitting #2

Bob the Bobbinator and Jean-Luc, Master of Macramé, had quite a following for their afternoon radio show. But even the most avid listener would surprised to discover that the on-air comraderie of the two hosts hid a much more sinister reality. The studio was a hot bed of backstabbing, power playing and deceit, and Jean-Luc, evil sod, was a master of all that, as well.

Poor old Bob was in the studio one day after the show had finished, finalising some interview transcripts for the next show when Jean-Luc walked in with a smug and satisfied look on his face. Leaning against the filing cabinet, he began to twirl his bowtie in his fingers, and enquired of Bob "Is it true, what I hear, that Ms Jorth had a schedule for each day, and the last entry instructs her to do at least an hour of knitting before retiring to the bed chambre?"

Bob looked up from his papers. "Yes, I believe so."

Jean-Luc smirked. "It is so so important for an crafting athlete to keep to a schedule, n'est pas?"

Bob looked at him sharply. "Of course it is. You know that as well as I. Now if you'll excuse me..."

But Jean-Luc interrupted him with a theatrical sigh. "Quelle dommage! It is so bad, then, that Jorth is straying from her training. I have it on good authority that last night, instead of embarking upon her nightly knitting, she went out for dinner, drank two glasses of champagne, and then sat down and watched Red Dog. Ha!"

Bob glared at him. "Well, so what if she had a night off? Her dad was up from the country, so of course she would take a night off to spend some quality time with him."

Jean-Luc sneered. "Real craft athletes do not take time off! They train and they train so they can be the very best. Your silly petit Jorth has no commitment, and silly fool you has backed her, publicly on air! Just you watch as your precious knitter fails to win gold, fails to win bronze, fails to even finish her robe before the winter deadline is out! You will be the laughing stock of the commentating crafting community, and I, Jean-Luc, shall stand tall and proud with my macramé beads in one hand and the microphone in the other, and denounce you as a blithering idiot! The show will soon be mine, mine alone, and you can go back to the hokey pokey hole in the garment district from which you came from!"

Bob gasped. "How did you know I came from the garment district? Who told you that?"

Jean-Luc laughed. "It does not matter how I found out. What matters is whether I tell the studio bosses that information. They would boot you out quick smart if they knew you were a district rat, instead of the crafting artisan you claim to be. But still, no matter. I shall let you fall on your sword with Jorth instead. Bon soir!" And with that Jean-Luc left the studio with a sinister chuckle.

Left alone, Bob snatched up his binoculars, and striding over to the windows began to scan the town for Jorth. After a minute or two of searching he found her. To his great relief, she was sitting down and knitting her green dress, and presently began to rummage in her knitting bag for a new ball of green wool, having just come to the end of the previous ball. Bob's heart swelled with renewed confidence in her. "Don't let me down, Jorthy my girl!" he whispered. "Don't you go be letting this old codger down."
I'm 4 balls down, 16 to go!
The 2012 Crafting Olympics - Part 1

1 comment:

  1. Bob! Have faith. Obviously Jorth, like all high level athletes, has an understanding of the importance of rest periods. Do not listen to Jean Luc. He does not comprehend modern training practice, he is stuck in a time warp. This is evidenced by his focus on macrame.


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