Tuesday, February 02, 2010

At least she won't fall off the bus on her second day of school like I did...

Today the dreaded day arrived - Grumbles started school. For the last few weeks I have been a mess of conflicted emotions. On the one hand I am thrilled that she is going - I know she is ready, and she will blossom and grow and learn at such an amazing rate that I am sure I will stand there with mouth gaping open at her speedy progress.

On the other hand I've never been separated from her so thoroughly before. The thought of her being out there in what can be a cold cruel world makes me want to dash into the classroom and bring her home, clasped in my loving arms as I extole loudly the benefits of homeschooling. Such has been my anxiety on her behalf that I have spent the last week or so with guts churning, shitting battery acid several times a day at the very thought of anything happening to her without me there to protect her.

As we walked to the school this morning she broke into a delighted run as she caught sight of the school building. The little tiger couldn't wait to get in there and begin the next part of her life, and despite my breaking heart I hitched a brave smile on to my face, kissed her goodbye and walked out of the classroom and left her alone on her life's path, a path I know she will tread with courage and compassion, with joy and love, with kindness and stubborness, and with wisdom and faith that every step she takes is one in the right direction.

I've spent the last five years holding her hand. Every clasp of her tiny warm paw has been an honor, but now it's time for me to let go. As my Dad says, like his mother before him, "you only get a lend of them." And despite my fears, my little girl is ready to walk on alone.

I'm so proud of you, Grumbles, my love. So very, very proud.


  1. Galumph8:41 pm

    Good luck my little angel on your journey.

    Well done to you (and me) for bringing such a delightful child into the world.

  2. Awww, i'm getting all teary!

  3. You are just totally gorgeous. How wonderfully put! I am a teacher and today was preps first day. They were so sweet and on a whole, so confident.
    Congratulations to Grumbles. I hope she loved her first day!!

  4. you did so well - i'm afraid i cried and will cried and it was sooo hard and i was shattered all day until three thirty when we had a much happier reunion. you wouldn't think i had done it twice before - but it's different with your baby.
    at least i didn't cry today and i was even brave enough to ignore my introvert self and go to the prep parents' morning tea

  5. I hope you managed to have a good day too as Grumbles would have surely had a great one. Thoughts to you - it isn't easy letting them go.

  6. *sigh* I know how you feel. I'm not looking forward to that day either, and my girl is only 8 months old!

  7. so beautifully written... I have no idea how I am going to do this next year; I suspect that I will be the Mum in the coffee shop around the corner from school sobbing her heart out! Well done you; oh and I love your Dad's words too.

  8. well when you put it like that, I just have to cry...

  9. Oh dear, watery eyes here too. Hope she enjoyed it and that you're OK too.

  10. awwww that will be me next year!!!! I have just let keira start pre-school and that breaks my heart but surely going to school full time will be hardest for mummy dearest!!!!



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