Queen's birthday weekend

Barossa Valley Vineyard

Dear Her Royal Majesty the Queen,

Thanks ever so much for being born! No, really - if you hadn't been born, then I, as a citizen of a country included in your commonwealth would not have had the chance to celebrate your birthday with a public holiday. Really, it's smashing of you to have, er, existed like that. Most grateful!

I suppose you'd wish to know what we did to celebrate you, eh? Well, we borrowed the mother-in-law's car and took a drive to Adelaide, named after one of your relatives. It's quite a lovely city, I'm pleased to report, but alas Grumbles took ill with a dreadful, phlegmy cough, so most of our sightseeing was confined to places we could visit in the car.

We drove all over, and saw Glenelg, Port Adelaide, the Barossa Valley and the Adelaide Hills, accompanied by a continual soundtrack of coughing and hacking. Apart from the flying spittle it was all rather splendid.

We were going to break our journey on the way home with a stopover in Horsham (they have the most spiffing aquatic centre I've ever seen!) but we decided to plough on and drove all the way home in a single day. Numb bums all around, but worth it for the lovely countryside!

There's not much else to report from my corner of Australia (we might ban live cattle exports, the Dalai Lama thought the Prime Minister was a man, we're still dragging our feet on climate change etc etc) so I'll sign off now. Once again, thanks so much for the public holiday. You're such a good egg!

Yours respectfully, and with blood flow once more restored to hind regions,
Jorth