Oooow! I just got poked by Alicia to do the 6 Weird Things meme. Only six?
1 – I have to put my left shoe on before my right shoe. If I don’t, then all manner of bad things may happen to me, so I just don’t take the risk.
2 – Often my dreams come true. However, it’s usually in an oddly mundane sort of way, like I’ll dream that I was standing talking to my friend Derek next to the stingray tank at the aquarium, and he will make a joke about being in a car crash, and then I’ll wake up and think: Odd. Haven’t seen Derek in ages, and why were we at the aquarium? Fast forward two years, and bang, there we are, chatting away in front of the rays, and he’ll make the joke. Sometimes, if the dream was really impressive, I can actually recite along with the person, although I try not to do that anymore because past experience has taught me that it really freaks people out.
If only it came in useful, like dreaming winning Tattslotto numbers, or predicting the future in an accurate way. Actually, now that I’ve just typed that, I think I prefer not to know. Except for the lotto numbers. That would be handy.
3 – I often talk to myself as I daydream. Terribly embarrassing when I get busted for it. If anybody ever mentions that they saw me on the street, my first terrible thought is “Oh god, was I talking to myself when they spotted me? No wonder they haven’t called in months!”
4 – My little toes are permanently swollen and very pink with chilblains, and look hideous. Thankfully they curl under my second-little toes, thus ensuring the world isn’t subject to the freakishness. Makes it damn hard to put nail polish on them, though. (Hee hee, if I ever want to gross out my husband, I just wave those scary toes in his general direction. Makes him jump every time!)
5 – If I’m having a dinner party, you can almost set your watch by the time it takes me to get stressed and then lose the plot, and become really cranky. My good, dear husband knows now to leave me alone to have my strop, and when he thinks the coast is clear, he’ll come back into the kitchen and pour me a nice big glass of something containing alcohol, and gently remind me that these people are our friends, so let’s all relax, hmmm? (He learned the hard way, poor thing, that saying “Nobody is going to enjoy food that wasn’t prepared with love!” is NOT the best thing to say to me whilst I'm in the midst of stropdom.)
6 – I adore baths. In fact, I’ve been known to take three baths in a day. Nothing like swishing around in all that hot water to beat all problems, I say! However, since we are in stage three water restrictions, I have had to curtail my baths severely. In fact, I haven’t had one since Christmas day (and only then because I had a whopping headache), and I’m in the midst of a bath-deprivation induced crisis! My joints feel stiff and achy, and my knees are cracking like it’s going out of fashion. Ahh, the things I suffer for the common good (swooning onto couch in act of noble selflessness).
Rightio. That’s done. I tag anybody who feels like doing it!
1 – I have to put my left shoe on before my right shoe. If I don’t, then all manner of bad things may happen to me, so I just don’t take the risk.
2 – Often my dreams come true. However, it’s usually in an oddly mundane sort of way, like I’ll dream that I was standing talking to my friend Derek next to the stingray tank at the aquarium, and he will make a joke about being in a car crash, and then I’ll wake up and think: Odd. Haven’t seen Derek in ages, and why were we at the aquarium? Fast forward two years, and bang, there we are, chatting away in front of the rays, and he’ll make the joke. Sometimes, if the dream was really impressive, I can actually recite along with the person, although I try not to do that anymore because past experience has taught me that it really freaks people out.
If only it came in useful, like dreaming winning Tattslotto numbers, or predicting the future in an accurate way. Actually, now that I’ve just typed that, I think I prefer not to know. Except for the lotto numbers. That would be handy.
3 – I often talk to myself as I daydream. Terribly embarrassing when I get busted for it. If anybody ever mentions that they saw me on the street, my first terrible thought is “Oh god, was I talking to myself when they spotted me? No wonder they haven’t called in months!”
4 – My little toes are permanently swollen and very pink with chilblains, and look hideous. Thankfully they curl under my second-little toes, thus ensuring the world isn’t subject to the freakishness. Makes it damn hard to put nail polish on them, though. (Hee hee, if I ever want to gross out my husband, I just wave those scary toes in his general direction. Makes him jump every time!)
5 – If I’m having a dinner party, you can almost set your watch by the time it takes me to get stressed and then lose the plot, and become really cranky. My good, dear husband knows now to leave me alone to have my strop, and when he thinks the coast is clear, he’ll come back into the kitchen and pour me a nice big glass of something containing alcohol, and gently remind me that these people are our friends, so let’s all relax, hmmm? (He learned the hard way, poor thing, that saying “Nobody is going to enjoy food that wasn’t prepared with love!” is NOT the best thing to say to me whilst I'm in the midst of stropdom.)
6 – I adore baths. In fact, I’ve been known to take three baths in a day. Nothing like swishing around in all that hot water to beat all problems, I say! However, since we are in stage three water restrictions, I have had to curtail my baths severely. In fact, I haven’t had one since Christmas day (and only then because I had a whopping headache), and I’m in the midst of a bath-deprivation induced crisis! My joints feel stiff and achy, and my knees are cracking like it’s going out of fashion. Ahh, the things I suffer for the common good (swooning onto couch in act of noble selflessness).
Rightio. That’s done. I tag anybody who feels like doing it!
Oh, I would have been so disappointed if you had not been weird enough! I am quite pleased about the dinner party stress thing. I thought it was only me.
ReplyDeleteAnd I got chill blains for the first time this year and they are so evil and itchy, I had no idea.
I love your shoe thing but the dreams are just plain WEIRD.
Weird is SO good.
How many Dereks do you know??
ReplyDeleteI adore you.
ReplyDeleteI do all the same things, except for the dream thing. We have so much in common -- fear of flying, chilblains, dinner-party strops (even though I don't know what that means, I've not doubt I do it). It all makes me feel like hopping in a hot bath -- because my farging chilblains are on my knuckles.
Anyway, I won't go on. . . . Apparently there is more I could've added to my own list.
I just love the way you write.
I had a nasty little dream this morning. Enough to make me google how to get out of quicksand alive ...
ReplyDeleteI too get the party strops, and have a meltdown before each and every do I cater. Alcohol doth sooth the savage beast.
Baths are yukky though.
I love a good hard shower pummelling down on me, although now I shower with a bucket or two for the garden ( hint: have your baths, but scoop them out at the end, and let your little one do the watering with an old teapot, dunking it in the bucket and repeat ... )
Oooh, I have freaky toes too (second little ones) that sit under the middle toe. It's fun to wave it around! My nan and sister have it too.
ReplyDelete#3. Embarrassing, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteBut I'm so glad I'm not the only person in the world who does it.
Love your list of weird things -the dreams are a bit weird! Agree with H&B - have you baths and water your garden after.
ReplyDeleteI think the most weird thing is, I can't actually think anything weird about myself.
ReplyDelete