Pins belong in pincushions, not in lungs

I've got a bit of a production line going at the moment, making a whole bunch of fabric totes to carry groceries, knitting etc around in. So there I am, sewing straight line after straight line, and every time I get to a pin I stop sewing, make sure my needle is in the fabric and then, out of habit, withdraw the pin and then pop in into my mouth, where it hangs out like Bogie with a cigarette. I'm a cool pin-smoking seamstress, doncha know!

What's so wrong with that? I hear you asking. Well, just have a read about this poor dressmaker from Sydney who actually breathed in a pin - and then got it embedded in her lung. Urgh!

Don't have time to read the whole thing? Then let me furnish you with this gruesome detail:

The whole thing was a joke to everyone. That is, it was until the surgeon operating on me the next day arrived at my bedside. He explained that the operation involved going in through my back between the ribs, possibly even breaking the ribs, and then removing up to a quarter of the lung tissue around the pin.

Yuck! All that from just inhaling a pin. And since I am in the habit of belting out songs as I sew (when I'm not swearing whilst putting in a zip!) then that is totally the sort of thing that would happen to me. So I'm now on a mission to completely break my habit of putting pins in my mouth. I mean, if I can give up coffee, then I can surely give up the pins, yeah?

Slow stitching

Reason number #4092 as to why you shouldn't stuff a craft project hurriedly into a cupboard: Because when you come across it 3 months later you will be aghast to find that you are only up to the letter F (which suddenly stands for you foolish, flibbertijibbetty forgetful filly!). So much for the 'oh yeah, I'll do one letter a day and have it done in no time' swagger you had when the kit first arrived in the mail.

Birthday winner

Jorth staggered from her bed that she had lain in for the past four days, with a raging temperature and a hacking cough, and slumped down at her computer, thinking that of all the lovely things she was given at her birthday party, this nasty dose of the flu was probably the one that she could have done without. But still! The birthday competition had to be drawn, sickness or not. After consulting with random.org she found the winner. "Hooray", she gasped with stinky ill-breath. And with that she collapsed back onto her bed, sending a cloud of scrunched up tissues into the air as she hit the mattress.

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Er, in other words, sorry about the delay with the competition drawing, but I have been one poorly gal. Anyway, I'm pleased to announce that SewJillian is the lucky lucky winner. Thanks everybody for entering - it really made my birthday to get so many lovely birthday wishes.

And while I'm at it, I'd like to say thanks to Galumph for looking after me so well whilst I've been ill. I'm sorry I coughed so much and kept you awake, honey!

35 - and the annual Jorth birthday giveaway!

Hooray - today I'm the ripe old age of 35! There are many, many things to celebrate, like all my fantastic readers, the joy of having a blog, wonderful crafting and, er, how friggin awesome I am! And modest - can't forget that one (bwahahahahah!)
Anyway, as per the tradition, I thought I'd have a giveaway to celebrate my birthday and share the crafting love. Rules are super simple: just be a follower of my blog, and leave a comment announcing your desire for the goodies.

Speaking of goodies, here they are:



To start, four recent issues of Ottobre Design Woman magazine (issues 2/2012, 5/2011, 2/2011 and 2/2010). Lots of fantastic patterns in here, but I'm giving them away because my pattern list is just too darn long as is, and I know I'll never get around to using them, so they may as well go to a good home.
What was that you said? You'll need some fabric to go with the patterns? Well, lookee here - I've got fabric for ya, too!



From left to right:

1.25m of Japanese cotton, 1.25m of Alexander Henry printed cotton, 1m of Japanese cotton, 1.5m of Zimmerman silk, 1.3m of Alannah Hill acetate blend and 1.25m of Marc Jacobs devore silk/cotton blend. All of them lovely, and all of them looking for a new home, because it's getting a wee bit crowded in that sewing buffet of mine, and if I'm brutally honest, as much as I love them all, I just won't get around to sewing them up.

So leave a comment, follow ze blog and all these marvellous goodies could soon be winging their way to you. Happy to ship internationally, so get commenting! Giveaway closes midnight Sunday 22nd July. Good luck, dear readers!

Zen and the green dress

Good grief! I turned into quite the panic merchant yesterday, didn't I? Sorry about that. Afterwards I stood in front of the mirror, gave myself a good slap around the chops and told myself to "Keep it together, man!"

So. Zen seaming it is. The green knitted dress shall be done when it is done. As the Buddhist monk Sheng-yen once said:

Be soft in your practice. Think of the method as a fine silvery stream, not a raging waterfall. Follow the stream, have faith in its course. It will go its own way, meandering here, trickling there. It will find the grooves, the cracks, the crevices. Just follow it. Never let it out of your sight. It will take you.

And I know - I just know - that he was totally talking about knitting then! Besides, if I rush it, I was screw it right up, just like I always do. Silvery stream. Got it.

Stay tuned - there may or may not be a birthday giveaway tomorrow. Oh, who am I kidding. There absolutely is. See you then!

Death by seaming

Dear fellow knitters,

This whole seam an entire knitted dress is, frankly, rather boring. And time consuming. I'm never going to get it finished in time for my birthday. Especially since I've just realised that I haven't even bought buttons for it. Gah! What was I thinking?!?

That is all.

xo Jorth.

Green dress seaming

Jorth was at home, busily cleaning away after a chaotic weekend, and was just in the process of decided which dully tedious job she should tackle next - hanging out the washing, making a dent in the ironing pile or scrubbing the bathroom floor. Suddenly she stood bolt upright, almost as if she was electrified. An odd gleam glowed from behind her eyes, and she threw off her apron and said "Sod the chores! I'm going to block and seam my green knitted dress, and I'm going to do it NOW!"

And just like that she was off, rummaging around in the cupboard for her dress, which was completed except for the assembly. Her household jobs, which just moments before had seemed so important, were now left unheeded. In the parallel universe which sat directly above her own, and of which she - and the majority of human beings - were blissfully unaware, a knitting fairy was flying smugly back to her companion, who was lazily perched on the couch, giving a slow clap.

"Tell me again how you make the people bend to your will like that?" said the second fairy, full of admiration for this magic which he had not yet mastered.

"Oh, it's easy enough once you get the hang of it", replied Grenulda. "All you do is align the universes, so that ours is sitting directly above the human one. Then you lean forward, muttering the parallel universe intersection spell, so that the barrier between the two is made permeable. Then you simply give the human a poke, allowing your magic to touch them, and thus you can sway them into doing what you'd like them to do."

"All well and good", said her friend, "but I thought that we couldn't use our magic for evil. Surely this spell is one that could be abused - why, you could make them jump off a bridge, or marry the dorky chap with the protruding teeth and severe halitosis."

"Ahh, but that's the beauty of it - just as our universes must intersect, so must our heart's desires, otherwise the spell won't work. Jorth desires that she can find the time to finish up her knitted dress, and I desire to see it completed. All I've actually done is reorganise her priorities for her. Besides, I'm really doing her a big favour - if she gets a crack on, she may well just have it finished for her birthday on Thursday. Every girl needs a fancy new frock for her birthday!"

"Selflessness, thy name is Grenulda!" chortled her companion, and off they flew, leaving Jorth to muse that if she hurried up, why, she might just get her dress finished in time to wear on her birthday.

Another duffle coat - this time in green

Ack! It was meant to be so easy - take a few close up shots of the latest duffle coat baby jacket (using the same pattern/yarn/etc as here), and then ask the Tyger if she would help me out by posing with the jacket on her favourite toy dog, what with us being clean out of babies around here at the present time.

Well, I got my close ups. Look - knitted buttoney goodness!





But as for the gentle, quiet modelling shots..., well I might just let the results speak for themselves. However there is a reason why they say to never work with children or animals, and this is why (even if the animals are of the stuffed variety!):



And now she's declaring that her and the stuffed dog are taking the duffle coat hostage until I knit something for her. Which is rather inconvenient, as I'm meant to deliver the duffle to our latest newborn acquaintance. Gah! When does school go back again???

Debbie Bliss Duffle Coat

Dang school holidays - the Tyger and I have been whizzing around so much that I've completely neglected my blog. Bad me! Every holiday I think "Oh, no problem - I'll have oodles of time to update ye olde blog" and then I find that I'm inching towards the end of the second week of holidays and not one update has been done. I think in the future I'll just declare that I'm taking a blog break, so then I don't feel so darn guilty about my lack of blogging.


Anyway, I'm back, and back with the goods! My super cute little nephew B came for a visit, and is now the proud owner of this Debbie Bliss Duffle Coat that I'd started knitting a few months back. I was biting my nails down to the quick, so anxious was I that it wouldn't fit, but it does, and with room to spare. Phew! It was an easy enough knit, and even features pockets, which was a knitting first for me. I'm loving those big red buttons, and that gorgeous baby smile!






Project Details
Pattern: Duffle Coat from The Ultimate Book of Baby Knits by Debbie Bliss (love this book so much!)
Yarn: 4 balls of Debbie Bliss Cashmerino DK in shade 18018 (Navy Blue)
Needles: 3.25mm and 4mm
Notions: 4 buttons

Terrific pattern, although it did feel like it took forever - garter stitch always does for me. I did find myself being a wee bit spatially challenged when it came to attaching the hood, but then again I think I live in a permanent state of spatial-challengedness, so never mind me.

What was that - you need one more big baby grin? Ok - I think we can manage that! Voila!